BIRTHDAY ni Benjamin Alves noong March 31 at nag-post ang aktor ng parang tribute sa pumanaw niyang ama. Ipinost din nito ang litrato niya na nagra-rock climbing na sabi niya, ay ipinadala rin sa ama.

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Ipinost din ni Benjamin ang last na palitan nila ng text message ng ama. Text ng dad ni Benjamin, “Okay ha. God keep you safe always” na sinagot naman niya ng, “Please update me. I’m at taping. Please update me.”

“This photo and the entire weekend itself will always be significant to me. It’s the exact photo I sent my dad, the last time he and I spoke. The next photo is a screenshot of the last thing he said to me (fittingly in retrospect), “God keep (me) safe always.

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“For months, the guilt of not replying to him literally ate away at my being. To be honest, it still does. I had a hard time forgiving myself for making the mistake of justifying that I was too busy at my pictorial to reply to him when I really wasn’t. And the people around me would’ve understood if I asked to be excused for a moment. I guess what I’m trying to say is that life is short. You have to prioritize what’s important and of value to you, because you never really know how long you have out here. One day, you’re chatting with someone then tomorrow they’re gone.

“It is, it was, as swift as that. Like a thief in the night I feel like someone stole my dad from me. These were dark times. I was angry- at myself and at God. My dad was a good man. He deserved more years in this world.

But I guess it’s because I wish I had more time. More chances to tell him how much I love him.

“How much I feel guilty not idolizing him growing up because I always felt we could’ve had more financially, if he had just taken a promotion at work. How guilty I feel now for resenting him. That the reason why he didn’t want to work more hours was because he needed all that time to serve in the community and in his church.

“And I realized this, how he found fortune in helping others, when he filled up a whole cathedral in his final viewing. How everybody who paid their respects, had such sadness and love for him equal if not greater to mine.

“I saw complacency as naive kid, but I now realize that it was contentment in his heart. How selfish and shameful of me, to want to take that away from him, just so I can have more clothes, a better car, growing up.

“I wish I had more time to tell him I’m sorry, And that I miss him terribly. That everytime I think about him, I could hear his voice. I could hear his laugh. I could hear his corny ass jokes. And him passing away, happens all over again. And it breaks my heart all over again. I would not wish grief on anybody at all.

“I’m sorry for going on and on about my dad. I know it can get too much for many. I just really miss him. And since it’s my birthday, and you might read this, that somehow I can honor him this way.

“I write this to you, not in sadness. But in pride. Pride in having a father who loves me so much that I could still feel him even when he’s long gone. I can only hope I can become the man you were, Dad. And that I hope I make you proud even if I struggle, and make mistake after mistake, in my journey to try to be more like you.

“Again, I want to thank everyone for all the birthday greetings and wishes. I appreciate all of your kind words. I really needed to hear them.

“Thank you.

“And please, I implore you, not to make my mistake: tell them how much they mean to you. Tell them how much you love them. Now.”

Speaking of Benjamin, ibinalita ng GMA Network na for the fourth consecutive year, siya pa rin ang napili na maging ambassador ng GMA Network Excellence Award.

Nagkaroon ng contract signing na dinaluhan ni Atty. Felipe L. Gozon, Chairman and CEO of GMA Network; Gigi S. Lara, Senior Assistant VP for Alternative Productions; Simoun Ferrer, Assitant VP & Head for Talent & Imaging and Marketing; Angel Javier Cruz, VP for Corporate Communications at manager ni Benjamin na si Jonas Gaffud.

-NITZ MIRALLES