DEAR Manay Gina,

They say that opposites attract, and I’ve proven that to be correct in my case because I am married to a man, who has nothing in common with me. But after nine years of marriage, I find myself wondering what it would be like if I were married to a man, who likes the same things I do. Sometimes, it irritates me that we can’t do anything together. What should I do?

Dada

Dear Dada,

Men and women are different physically, mentally, and in many other ways. So, stop wasting your time in the fantasyland of being married to the perfect man. You weren’t attracted to your spouse by accident. You married him because he was different.

Anyway, odds are, your husband has similar feelings. So, talk about it. Listen to his needs and concerns and then share some of your own.

Differences are not something to be resented because they add richness, depth, and texture to a marriage. Besides, every couple has areas of incompatibility but smart couples learn how to celebrate the similarities and leverage the differences in ways that say “I love you” and allow for discovery and new growth.

Withaffection,

Manay Gina

“Strength lies in differences, not in similarities.”

--- Stephen Covey

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